Thursday, April 3, 2008

becca - who not only just got accepted into BYU's art program, but who also has her own blog - has been thoroughly disgusted with me since i haven't updated my blog. she says that if she had a dollar for every time she checked it and it was the same thing, she'd be rich. hm. maybe i should do something about that.

but i am so tired. i feel like i am running a million miles an hour. my dad lovingly lectured me for a bit - his words are often rare and powerful, so his one sentence tends to feel like a lecture at times - about eliminating things from my life. i think i triggered this comment when i said the uncle jerry had said that i should work a shift a month at j.crew...great discounts!

thus, i'm posting. but i am am brain dead and falling asleep at 9:37 pm that i don't really have much to write.

thankfully, i am in alpine and saw on the desktop of the beautiful mac i am using, an "paper" i wrote. some girl posted an invitation to write about lessons we have learned from our mothers. i loved the idea - especially since the invite was to be apart of a book and someday i would love to write something really good. AND because my mom has taught me a ton.

i was able to attend a funeral in which a speaker commented about "the songs my mother sang". so, i began writing about my mom's songs:

“Whenever I Feel Afraid” The summer before my senior year of high school, our town has a Junior Miss Pageant. A handful of my girl friends and I decided to be contestants. The only problem, was that there is a talent portion to the pageant. Although I have an okay singing voice, it is nothing that I have a lot of confidence in. But after weighing the choices (you can’t really cook cupcakes on stage as a talent…that’s what I’m good at..) I decided to sing a solo. My mom and I practiced a variety of songs and we decided I should do a part of “Whenever I Feel Afraid” from the musical The King and I. My mom and I hunted down the perfect costume: a huge hoop skirt slip, black skirt, white blouse! Then my mom hunted down the perfect ways for me to act out the song. One little problem, however, was the whistling. The words of the song say, “Whenever I feel afraid, I hold my head erect, and whistle a happy tune so no one will suspect, I’m afraid…” At one point in the song, there are a few measures of whistling. But, I can’t whistle. This is where the kazoo enters the scene. My mom suggested I pull out a kazoo and make it funny. She was very literally teaching me the power of the song. I was very, very afraid to sing a solo in front of an auditorium full of people, but I was getting to “whistle” my happy tune in the funnest, most me way possible and no one ever suspected!

“I Like You Like You Are”
For a Family Home Evening one night, my parents introduced a desire to have a family motto. I’m not sure if we were being extremely critical of one another as siblings or what the inspiration was for this motto, but what ever it was, I am grateful. There is a primary song with the words, “I like you like you are”. It takes about someone being different than me, doing things different than me, looking different than me, but that it didn’t matter because, I like you like you are. This became the family motto (I think we were going to change the motto as soon as we had learned to live it…but it never was changed so who knows if we ever have truly learned it!). My mom found a small bulletin board and placed it in the certain of the kids’ rooms. She had a picture and the title of the motto song on the bulletin board. We role-played scenarios that we would have to prove that we truly did like each other for who they were. I look at the experiences I have had in life and realize the great power my parents found in this song. And although the motto didn’t change, I’d like to hope that the friendships and love I share with various people with various lifestyles, various beliefs, various cultures is because of the truths my mom – thanks little bulletin board – reminded me of daily.

“The Wind Beneath My Wings” 1989 was about when the movie, Beaches came to film. Bette Middler and Barbara Hershey play two completely opposite people that end up having a powerfully, supportive and honest friendship. Barbara Hershey’s character dies of caner and Bette Middle’s character sings, “The Wind Beneath My Wings” as a tribute to her. My mom’s daddy died in 1989. I was in sixth grade. We were living in Northern California and grandpa was in Spanish Fork, Utah. It had been just my mom and her daddy at grandpa’s house for most of my mom’s life. Losing him broke her heart. She sang a tribute of her daddy’s selfless sacrifice and dedication to all that she was and is as she sang “The Wind Beneath My Wings” at the funeral. Every time I see birds flying in their V-formation, I think of this song. I think of grandpa, but I especially think of my mom. Because of her, I can fly. I know that she sees amazing things in me; things that are impossible for me to see. She doesn’t control, but she does all she can to create and find opportunities for me to be the best and highest me. For her, the most important thing is to see her children and husband fly. She never cares about the simple and silent role she often plays, because it is all about her family.

“I Love To See The Temple” Driving from Kearns to Spanish Fork, we’d pass by the Jordan River Temple. As we drove from our house to grandpa’s house, it became a game to see who could see he temple first. When we had all had the chance to see the beautiful House of the Lord, we would them sing, “I Love To See the Temple”. My mom had taught us the second verse to this primary song. I recall driving with another family going somewhere and this song was the topic of conversation. I mentioned something about the second verse and the family didn’t believe that there was one! I sang the words for them and they still didn’t believe me! They thought that my mom had created second verse and that it wasn’t in the primary song book! As a defender of this special second verse, the words became mine. “I love to see the temple. I’ll go inside someday. To covenant with my Father, I promise to obey. For the temple is a holy place, where we are sealed together. As a child of God, I’ve learned this truth, a family is forever.” There was no doubt or question in my mind that I would enter the Lord’s holy house. December 6, 1999 was incredible. I had received a call just a few weeks earlier that I was to serve the Lord as a missionary in St. Petersburg, Russia. I only had time to attend one temple preparation class. But, a lifetime of desire, stemming from the simple words my mom had taught me before primary had taught me, had prepared me to go inside that day. The feelings of peace, calm, awe, reverence, and joy overwhelmed me as I watched so many of my loved ones walking into the endowment room at the Mt. Timpanogoes temple that day. These feelings return each time I get to be in a temple of our God. My family knows my great love for the temple, I even wrote a third verse to the primary song…it’s not in the song book yet! Thank you, Mom.

there was more...but i'll save them for another day...but until then, enjoy the picture of my mom - and my dad :)


Susie said...

Great post. What a thoughtful tribute to your mom (and your dad). They raised you, didn't they, so they must have done a ton of good!

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