Wednesday, January 2, 2013

who knew?

heavenly day. i love when i realize just how many things i don't know! 

i just started really checking out this blog format (that is what, over a year old??). and realized that i missed a number of comments from people. how does that happen?? blast. so sorry if you wrote and i didn't realize it. 

this holiday season, i have thought a lot about how i have been spending my time the past few months. i started my healthy payback idea last january. i had some goals. but didn't reach them. i have realized just how much i could have done in 365 days. for the first time in my life, i have been sad about what i didn't do this past year. i don't know that i regret things. but i definitely am aware of the treats i ate that i don't need to eat again. or the tv shows i watched that i probably didn't need to have in my life. 

so while i don't love the cliche idea of setting resolutions, i have things i would like to spend my time doing instead of letting my laziness take over. i am learning to accept the fact that i am lazy. period. i don't like working out. i don't like cleaning. i really like laying in my bed. i like staying up zoning out watching dumb shows. and yet, i also love a home that is cute and orderly. i do love eating well. i like knowing that my body really can move and that i have muscles. i like having hot water in the bathroom (which only happens if i am up before 5:30 am. boo. the massive con about my apartment)

(oh speaking of, did you want to see it decorated for Christmas??)

 this garland has christmas cards hanging from it

back to topic, i am wanting to do things differently this year. i want to use my blog as a "travel log" about my adventures (because i have lots of them and love them), and also want to record my thoughts about my beliefs and the joyful aspects of the Gospel of Jesus Christ, along with recording stories of life that i just want to publish in a sort of way. 

one thought i was thinking about tonight was the beautiful aspects of being an assistant:
i had a one-on-one with an HR supervisor before the holidays. i made a comment about how well prepared someone was for a new position he was in because he was a great assistant in our group prior to his new position. 

i thought about this tonight as i tried to distract myself from freezing as i walked to my car. 6 months ago i was pretty burned out with work. i felt like all i was doing was answering emails. hundreds of them. i didn't feel like i was contributing to anything or betting lives in any way. after a good and loving "smacking" from my mama who reminded me of the incredible experiences i am having, i snapped out of it. now, all i see are the incredible opportunities and preparation for future roles and positions. 

i have learned to make friends with others through words. and only words. they don't know the sound of my voice. they don't know my sense of style. they don't know much of anything other than what i write. and not only what i write, but the tone i write with. it is so fun to actually meet someone i have become friends with via email. it blows my mind that i can feel like there is a dear friend out there that i have never met or that i could pass by and have no idea it was them. there is power in words. there is power in tone. 

i have learned to be aware of timing. how long does it really take to accomplish a task. when clay's life is smooth based on my calendaring, timing is huge. if don't estimate timing appropriately, many lives are affected as people have to wait for him to try to accomplish things in the time frame i have set. 

i have learned how to prioritize. some items and tragically some people, have to be at the bottom of the list. others have to be at the top. and learning to prioritize my life according to clay's current priorities. that is tricky: to know what is important to him. thankfully i ask a lot of questions that he is okay with. and thankfully he is patient in my learning. 

i have been learning when i need to be an important part of the equation and communications and when i am on a power trip. do i want to be involved just to be involved, or it is necessary for the running of our world that i know the details? along with this, i have learned that i don't need to question the vitality of my position. it isn't up for discussion IF i personally recognize it. i have realized that often times in trying to softly find my place in life, i may underestimate my role and the importance of who and what i bring. so i have been frustrated as others don't give me the respect that i feel that clay gives me. BUT, when i realize how vital i am, then there is no question and no frustrating territories. i do get to call the shots on pretty much all aspects of life. which i need to be aware of and use this position carefully. for this reason alone, i have to be the person that clay trusts. 

lots of thoughts. sorry. the main realization with these thoughts is that these are VITAL lessons that can help me lead a corporation if that is what i want to do. these are  - beautifully - the same lessons and traits i need to be a conscience and powerful wife and mother. as i think about the future roles i am have (plan A, B, C, H, J, X, etc.) all of these lessons will make me better at anything i choose to do. 

okay, done for now. :)

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