Wednesday, March 6, 2013

quiet


i re-realized one of the blessings of being single (because, yes there are a few! :) ), that with the quiet moments of living alone, i am able to hear my thoughts more. when i turn off the tv and music, it's just me and my thoughts. which at times means i over analyze. but at other times, i get to have sweet and tender ah-ha moments. 

i have gone to two therapy sessions these past few weeks. i decided to go because i wanted to be more aware of me and my actions and the reasons for my actions. this time, for this round of therapy sessions in my life (i think this is my 3rd or 4th therapist i have gone to in the past number of years) , i feel like these two sessions have either been all that i can handle, or that i received what i needed for now. or at least i received what i need for this moment. with all my quiet thoughts, i have decided to attend the temple more regularly. at this time in my life, for whatever reason, i feel like the temple is the additional help i need to be aware of who i am and what to change to be more of who i want to be. 

you know those books that you return to over and over - like an old friend? i love sister holland's, A Quiet Heart. i was reading it again on saturday. peace and calm came. confidence that had been shaken was returned. in trying to be wiser in my actions and relationships, i started doubting everything i was. reading sister holland's words along with a number of the scriptures she refers to, i remembered again the beautiful word choice of "succor" - that He truly runs to our aid. i am humbled and amazed. i was comforted that the only needful thing is to love the Lord with all my heart. 

one thing i have felt guilty about is that i am so loving being home. i am loving lonely moments. i am choosing to be with people while recognizing the boundaries i need. and being okay that being home is just fine (and i have been trying to exercise and run  - so home when done at about 7:30/8:00 pm). being home is okay. 

speaking of home. here are a few of the spring decorations that make my little apartment my home:


still need to make a "spring" sign for the large frame . .  


for a bit, i was thinking of moving apartments hoping to find a place with less street noise and central air conditioning. but decided that instead of spending the money moving and a new place, i would just buy a few things to make my home more home. like my first ever vacuum! wow. for a girl who despises cleaning floors, this just might convert me!

and to see my updated home away from home, here is my office with the new fabric covered bulletin boards. i worry that it's a little too busy. but i kind of do love it. :)




ps the other aspect of my quiet moments is the acknowledgment of just how much i love my primary class and primary kids. i feel so so blessed to be with my 7 nine-year-olds. i won't be able to be with them for 2 Sundays this month and it makes me so sooo sad!!

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